Just imagine turning on the TV, seeing your president,

Y'all gotta chill. Rudy was just stopping and frisking himself. Habit.

Top 2 theories why Trump doesn't have a dog:

1. He already has too many pussies.

2. He prefers sheep.

What horror movie are you watching tonight?

Tucker Carlson.

Should we tell Evangelicals that as soon as they made a godless, womanizing conman their messiah...

a plague showed up?

And then Jesus drug tested everyone using taxpayer money before deciding if the lazy, freeloading

masses were worthy enough to receive fish and bread.

"I can't feed these people, it will destroy their incentive to better themselves."

All my Republican friends out there can you please after having control of the Senate for 10+ years

tell me about your health care plan? Just send me the link. Thanks.

You know what? Vasectomies are reversible. Why not just make all men get them?

And then if they're truly ready to be a father, they can undo them.

What's that? You have problems with this?

All you need to know about the American healthcare system is that there's a popular TV series

where a man turns to cooking industrial quantities of crystal meth in order to pay his hospital bill

Dear Trump: The media's not out to get you. The media's out to get ratings.

America's out to get you. The media's just covering it.

What kind of punkass bitch President is frightened by some "tough questions" asked by a journalist?

Well... if Trump wanted to answer tough questions he would have taken his own SAT's

Last night, House Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez created a Twitch account and played

the game Among Us with Gen Z voters.

Not to be out done, the Republicans have forced Mitch McConnell to start an OnlyFans

Could you imagine if I lose? Maybe I will have to leave the country, I don't know.

Where would Trump go? He can't go to Europe because he owes their banks a ton of money.

He can't go to Africa because he called it a s**thole.

He can't even go to Mexico, because some a**hole built a giant wall.

Whether he called the "Proud Boys" the "Poor Boys" accidentally or on purpose, he was right.

On the one hand, it was Sasha Baron Cohen who is a legendary trickster.

But in the other hand was Giuliani's dick...

But that's none of my business.